A is for Assumptions
Everyone does it, they might not be aware that they do, but it happens to all of us. Yes, I do it too.
Whether it’s in how someone looks, what they say or even what they’re doing, we assume things about them.
You see that young gal walking down the street. A dozen piercings in ears, nose, lips, eyebrows. She’s in heeled combat-style boots, patterned lace leggings, a slightly frilly skirt, t-shirt and bodice – all in black. She’s got way too much makeup on and her hair is frizzed.
GOTH!
SLUT!
LAGABOUT!
I know someone who looks like that when she’s going to the club on the weekend
She’s got a bachelors degree, works as a marketing rep for a fairly large company and during the week has maybe 2-3 of her ear piercings in and an almost un-noticable nose stud – she leaves the rest out when she’s at work – she dresses business nice, hair styled, and just a touch of makeup to accent her naturally good looks.
If you put pictures of her in both “getups” side-by-side – you’d swear they were different people.
Point is, no matter what your first thought is, sometimes it’s dead-wrong.
Same thing with what someone says. Say “I’m Pagan” in a group, and you’re going to have several different assumptions made
BABY KILLER
TREE HUGGER
DILETTANTE
PEACE AND LIGHT
That last one hits me the most. See, with the Wiccans being the most vocal, visible and railed upon group out there.
I say I’m Pagan, and most people assume I subscribe to the “Harm None” principle
Try to throw a punch and me – when you wake up, you might want to re-asses that opinion
I’m an Irish-Gaelic Polytheist (mostly) – my personal thought on causing harm is such
“I won’t initiate anything, I’ll do what I can to avoid physical confrontation, but if you threaten me or mine….I WILL hurt you.”
And ‘mine’ includes close friends, not just family.
The entire point of this is to try – TRY – to not make assumptions based on little to no evidence. Learn about the person, learn what they think – then instead of having little thoughts running around inside your skull saying a multitude of different and often contradictory things, you’ll KNOW who they are.
Yeah, I feel ya. For one I’m really tired of people assuming I mean Wiccan when I say I’m a Witch. They are not the same, people. (Worst part: when they /insist/ I’m a Wiccan even after I say I’m not several times.)
Good advice both about not assuming and being active in getting to know individuals AND about not messing with you.
I have noticed that this assumption making is possibly the most prevalent as it pertains to people who do not stand out. The stand outs, by standing out, challenge a body to look deeper. Those who blend in do not make this visual challenge and often I see people like this being tagged with false assumptions. But your advice holds nonetheless for everyone.